I Heart Faces Photo Challenge- People's Choice

 Rub-a-dub-dub...he got out of the tub!!  (so mommy had to snap this photo!)                                          

A day at the park...

We recently spent a day at one of our favorite places...the park!  While we like to visit many parks, one of our favorites is East Park in Galion, OH.  If you are ever in the area, it's a place you should visit.  They have so many fun things for kids....from dinosaurs to climb on, to many slide, swings and jungle gyms galore!  And not only do they have things for the kiddos, but they also have great workout stations for adults interested in exercising while their children play.  It's fun for the whole family!! 

Here are just a few moments I captured during our day....
 

  

A Day in the Life of Spiderman

I recently had the opportunity to spend some one on one time with Spiderman.  Underneath the superhero uniform, he's quite loving and friendly...and even silly at times.  Here are just a few of my favorite moments from my time spent with him...

We met...it was rather intense....he gave me the stare down!

I questioned his authenticity at first....his outfit seemed a little...um...unfit.

But he gave me a look that only a real superhero can give, so I knew not to question him any further!

He looked at me with loving care...I knew I was safe with him!

He must have felt safe with me too, because shortly after, he removed his mask to reveal his true identity!

He's Jackson!!!!  (why didn't I ever figure it out before??)

He soon spotted some bad guys....

So he took off on his trusty tricycle to save the day!

It's important to stay hydrated when fending off bad guys....

I snapped a picture just as he was giving the bad guy a karate chop!

He seemed to be a bit of a show off as he had to rub it in after beating the bad guy!!  (but I guess superheros are allowed to do stuff like that)

And ended the encounter with the bad guy by warning him of what would happen the next time he's bad.....

He then became irritated with my photography and insisted that I stop....apparently only "Peter Parker" is allowed to photograph Spiderman!!

Our day ended when Spiderman, exhausted from the day filled wih fighting bad guys, crashed out on the couch. 

A Shareworthy Quote....

This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.
-- Susan Polis Schutz

The history of "Lizzie Jane"....

I will never forget the day that I found out I was pregnant for the first time!  We had been trying to conceive for well over 2 years and then out of the blue, it miraculously happened!  The day I saw those 2 beautiful pink lines on a home pregnancy test, I knew that my world would forever be changed!!!   We were beyond happy to be expecting our first baby in August 2007.  As the months went by, we did all of the things that every new parent does upon expecting their first baby, buying all of the necessities needed (the crib, the stroller, the car seat, the nursery theme bedding and accessories and all of the other baby supplies), and after discovering that we would be welcoming a baby girl, a sea of pink came upon us in the form of clothes, blankets, hair bows, and pretty much any other baby item that came in pink!!! :)  It was the happiest of times for us...we would sit at night, feeling the baby kick inside my belly, talking to our baby girl as if she were already there and dreaming of the day that we would finally meet her.  Then, on July 11, at 3am, after a night of tossing and turning, I woke to an extreme gush of water and knew it was time!!!! :)  It was a month before my due date, but luckily, I was well prepared and had already packed my hospital bags in anticipation of the big day!  So we rushed to the hospital, nervous and excited to finally meet our little girl!  Through hours and hours of labor, we waited...and waited.  There was a time during labor that the doctor was concerned about the baby's heart rate...apparently her heart rate wasn't reacting to the contractions I was having (meaning that the baby's heart rate is supposed to fluctuate as contractions come and go, but her's wasn't), but they put me on oxygen and that seemed to help.  As the time approached to finally deliver the baby, after some pushing, the doctor paused and said that there was a bit of a problem.  There seemed to have been some abnormal swelling around the baby's neck and chest that caused some alarm.  So I was told not to push, and the doctor left the room.  That's the moment that we began to worry...you never anticipate something being wrong with your baby. When the doctor returned, he told us that he had made some phone calls to the Children's hospital in the closest city, and that they were going to send a team up to be there for the delivery (apparently, my doctor felt that in case there was something seriously wrong, they wanted the proper pediatric doctors there to properly care for her).  So in order for all of this to happen, he was going to perform an emergency c-section to get the baby out.  Needless to say, this was a LOT for me and my husband to take in and comprehend in such a short time...but we took it in stride and trusted in my doctor.  Since I hadn't received any medication during the birthing process, I had to be put under for the c-section procedure.  When I awoke, the first thing I asked was "how is the baby?".   It seemed as though everyone was avoiding the question...either that or they just didn't have an answer to give me!  There was no baby crying, no one handing me my little girl all swaddled in a receiving blanket....just numerous hospital staff running around in what seemd to be a blur....my husband beside me....holding my hand, and not saying a word.    Finally, a pediatric doctor approached us and informed us that our daughter was "very sick" and that they would be taking her via life flight to the Children's hospital.  We were terrified...not even comprehending everything that was being said...but my main concern was seeing her....I wanted to see my baby before they took her from us.  So they wheeled a little incubator over to my bedside, and inside was the most beautiful, peaceful little baby girl I had ever laid eyes on!!  She was hooked to a lot of breathing machines, so I couldn't hold her, but I was able to hold her tiny hand in mine and I will never forget that moment as long as I live...I wish I could have stopped time at that moment and stayed with her forever just like that!  In that moment, we named her Elizabeth Jane Armrose.  (using both of our mother's names, both of whom were strong, wonderful women, in hopes that she would gain strength from them)  My wonderful doctor led us in a small prayer as we spent that brief time with her before they whisked her away.  I was unable to go, having just had a surgery, so my husband left with our little girl, while I was left to wait and pray.  I remember asking God to please keep her safe and let her be ok...at one point I even offered to give my own life in exchange for hers...just to give her a chance to live.  My husband called me numerous times from the Children's hospital...telling me that she was very critical, they weren't sure what was wrong and that it was unclear as to if she was going to survive or not.  I held on to every single bit of hope and faith that I could, awaiting any sign of good news.  At about 2am that next morning, July 13, 2007, after a night of restless worrying and waiting, in walked my husband...and my heart sunk.  With tears in his eyes, he informed me that our little Lizzie had lost her battle and had went to be with Jesus.  In a split second, every hope and dream, every whispered "I love you", every kissed boo-boo, and everything that I had wanted to do or say to her, vanished.  What had began as the happiest, most wonderful time of our lives, had suddenly turned into the worst, most horrifying time in the blink of an eye! I was left with nothing but short moment in time where I got to hold her precious little hand and glimpse at her from behind the incubator glass. But looking back now, I'm so grateful for that brief moment in time with her....thankful that I did get to meet her and see her and tell her that I loved her....something that a lot of parents don't get to do with children that they lose.

According to the doctors, she had what is known as Vein of Galen Malformation.  This is a condition where the main vein inside of the brain becomes enlarged due to a series of blood vessels and arteries feeding too much blood directly into it.  In turn, once this vein becomes enlarged, it sends too much blood back into the heart, and in time, causes congestive heart failure...which is what actually caused her death. After some research, I've discovered that it's not very common, it's simply a rare birth defect that sometimes results in death...other instances can be taken care of with surgery.  Unfortunately, in little Lizzie's case, the condition was advanced by the time of her birth, and nothing could be done to correct it.

As days and months and years went by, I was faced with one of the most difficult times in my life.  Never before had I had to rely on my faith more than I did during that time.  And in all honesty, I really think that it is what got me through!  Of course, I went through a brief phase where I was angry at God...for taking the one thing that we had hoped and prayed for.  I found myself lashing out at my husband, who was dealing with the loss also and who was trying to be there for me.  I realized that being angry and bitter was not going to help me or the people who loved me deal with this.  So I decided that the only way I was going to face this was head on!  I needed to grieve, which I did, and I had to somehow pick myself up and get on with life.  I think of 2 memorable quotes that I encountered during my difficult time that really stood out to me, and really helped me get through...the first (coming from our pastor at the time) was "God will never give you more burdens than you can handle"...meaning that I was strong enough and had enough faith in the Lord to make it through this.  And the second was from a book about losing a child and the first line in the book was, "Life goes on"...meaning as much as I didn't want to go on living without my child, that isn't an option...the world keeps turning and people go on living without their loved ones.  So I knew the only thing I could do is lean on God and the wonderful group of family and friends that had surrounded me.  And through His loving grace, I'm alive and well today and able to talk about this with people in a healthy manner....in hopes that I can somehow help another person going through the loss of a child or loved one and also just to honor Lizzie by never forgetting her story.  I thank God for His love and for giving me my wonderful husband who stood by me and faced this with me...without him I would not have made it through.  I often wondered and questioned why this happened to us, why we had to lose a child, but I've realized a few things about it....1. we aren't meant to understand why some things in life happen...they just do...and it's all part of God's plan for us...we just need to trust in Him and know that He has good intentions and knows what He is doing.  And one day, when our time on earth is through, our souls will finally know the answers.  2. This whole experience has made me who I am today, and for that, I'm grateful.  Maybe I was taking life for granted before, or maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention to the small details in life, but all I know is that going through this has made me take a step back and learn to appreciate everything that I have, to enjoy even the simplest things in life and to cherish every second I have with my son who came into our lives after this.  3.It's made me a much stronger person.  Never, in a million years, would I have thought that I could endure something as hard and painful as that.  But I did!  And I'm here to tell everyone I know who may be going through something similar that life does go on...it may not be happy at times and it may be difficult to make it through some days...but it does go on.  I think by sharing my story with people, I hope to help at least one person through a difficult time...to let them know that they aren't alone.  And if you share your troubles with Jesus, the burden becomes lighter and the days become easier.  No, the hurt will never go away completely, but it does get better and you will be happy again. 
People often ask me how I can so easily talk about it and tell me that I seem like such a happy person regardless of going through that horrible experience, but I say that it's BECAUSE of that experience that I'm strong enough and content with life enough to be the way I am.  It's amazing to me that such goodness resulted from such a tragedy...but I guess that's one of God's wonderful ways of making things work out in the end! :) 

All in all, I consider myself very blessed to have endured what I did and to now have a happy life with my wonderful husband and a beautiful little boy who would adore the sister he will never meet during his earthly stay.  I will always have that hole in my heart that Lizzie left behind, but I choose to try to fill it with happiness and love, rather than bitterness and anger.  I still have my days of despair, and probably always will, but I will not let them bring me down and keep me down.  I will make it through them and live another day to share the life of my beautiful little angel. 

So, with all that being said, I have named my photography business after my beautiful angel.  I figured what better way to memorialize her than by giving my business her name...a business in which I capture memories of children and families.  So that not only will she live on in our hearts, but through the photos that I take of other children.





*an additional note, I would like to add that there is a website veinofgalen.wordpress.com that you can visit for more information, to share in other family's stories or share your own story about Vein of Galen malformation, if you or a family member has ever had to deal with this.